Thailand is like the black hole of good times. We didn’t even mean to be here six weeks but all the fun kept pushing our departure date back. The beauty of the beaches, the flavors of the food, the kindness of the people, and strength of the drinks…definitely make you lose all sense of time in this magical land. The South wooed us with its jaw-dropping landscapes and party scene while the North won us over with its rich history and warm hearts. Thailand has a dizzying effect but just when you think you’re seeing double…You Know You’re in Thailand When…
– You dress for the full moon in pink sunglasses, a muscle shirt, glow-in-the-dark body paint, and a hat that says “Same Same…But Different”
– You are coerced by your “free” Tuk Tuk driver to shop for suits, swear you’ll only browse for five minutes, then you spend three hours drinking Chang and dancing to “Gangnam Style” with the tailor and his kids
– In Thai, there is sexual innuendo in just about everything
– Dissing the king could mean 15 years in the slammer…#Selfies with Rama 9? Eternal salvation!
– Long-distance buses look more like a spaceship than a Greyhound
– Forget Bangkok, Zach Galifianakis….“Chang’s got us now.”
– A “bucket” at a Thai beach isn’t for sand, it’s for Songkran whiskey, Red Bull, and Roofies*
(Bucket Safety Rules: #1. Use the buddy system #2. Buy your bucket from a 7-Eleven, not the guys in a wooden shack)
– There is no such thing as bad Thai food
– Playing dress-up in ladyboy costume shops makes for a fine Saturday afternoon
– There are over 13,000 convenience stores nationwide, most of them being 7-Elevens or “almost 7-Elevens”
– When VW buses are the hottest bars around
– Fried scorpions, waterbugs, crickets, and other creepy crawlers suddenly sound palatable. Favorite quote from that video: “It’s basically Pad Thai”
– The beaches are some of the best in the world, made even more beautiful by drip-castle karst formations
– The best idea for a bar is to get patrons really drunk, put them in the Muay Thai boxing ring, and give the winner a free “Bucket”
– There’s always a way for tourists to take more cash out
– Phallic offerings are the best way to woo the female fish gods
– Ladyboys are accepted for whoever and whatever they want to be
– All your farang needs can be met at the mini mart
– So many memorable moments happen, you just have to make a music video to explain the fun time of Thailand
Ha! It’s all so true!!
Thailand is such a trip. So glad these resonated with you and you got to experience the madness!
I identified with this more than any of your other SEA “you know you’re in…” posts. This made me super nostalgic for my trip!
So glad it brought you back, Regan!
You’re so correct about the 7-11s. I remember once seeing – on a 100-150 meter stretch in Bangkok – five 7-11s. It was ridiculous.
Also, I know I’m in Thailand when taxi drivers tell me that someplace within sneezing distance that I can’t find is “very, very far.”
Haha! So true on the taxi and tuk tuk drivers…I think we opted for walking every time we heard that lol. Read a stat that by 2015 there will be 10,000 7-11s in Bangkok…there will be no shortage of Slurpees and Changs that’s for sure!
Had such a giggle, love the ATM: so reminiscent of Africa haha. I have Thailand to thank for my awesome skills in Charades, I spent four days in Chiang Rai and had to mime my way through many 7-11’s trying to get bandaids and antiseptic stuff for some jungle owees- good times haha!
Oh good! I know the game of Thai Charades quite well and so glad you can relate to all this endearing madness! Though sorry about your jungle owes…at least it wasn’t the infamous moto exhaust-pipe leg burn!
True story- it could always be worse! But thank goodness no!
You guys sound like a blast to travel with!! I especially liked the mac-daddy bus and the liquor wagon VW’s, Thailand sounds really fun.
Did you enjoy eating the bugs? I would never dare to try that.
Hahahah…I wouldn’t say I “enjoyed it”…but it was a fun evening. FYI, now that I am a vegan I would not do that again.